Recovery from anything is rarely a straight line. Ever had a broken heart? Remember the ups and downs? The numbness? The feelings of despair? Surgery isn’t a whole lot different. Right now, I’m having a down. I wish it were numb….instead there’s a lot more pain. Despair….that would be way melodramatic, but I’m certainly not a happy camper today.
It all started Saturday afternoon. I had lunch with my mom, and then accompanied her for shopping. My mom doesn’t get out much, and she still gets pleasure from shopping, so when we go out to lunch, Lynn and I often take her to the grocery store, or to a mall store. Last year, we took her to Penneys, and lost her. It was getting to be a tense 45 minutes or so until she finally surfaced in the lost and found.
This weekend the quest was for shoes. She wanted to go to Payless because they had advertised on TV exactly the kind of shoe she wanted, for only $9.99. I reminded her that Payless has low prices because they provide no customer service. No one would bring shoes to her and help her get them on and off her feet. She would have to sit on a low bench. I cautioned her that I could not bend over and help her either. Nonetheless, she was determined to buy those $9.99 shoes. More than one pair….a whole wardrobe of $9.99 shoes.
I’ve been feeling invincible. Strong. Free of my limp. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Able to stand on my own two feet for increasingly longer periods of time. How long? Hmm…..how could I know unless I tried?
To begin with, there were only two pairs of shoes that were $9.99. The rest were $19.99, and $25.99, and $29.99.…you get the picture. The big come-on is BOGO for half-price. Still….not a bad deal. I generally feel you get what you pay for when it comes to shoes, but my mom doesn’t need to walk a 5K in her shoes. She just needs to get to and from the dining room; to and from the car; to and from the bathroom. We had success right away; she liked the first pair she tried on. It didn’t take too much longer to find a second pair. If we had stopped then, it would have been fine for me.
But she was having fun. And she wanted two more pairs. Remember that lack of customer service? I was the gofer. Remember that low bench to sit on? She was sitting….I was standing. Remember that I’ve only tested out standing for 10 minutes at a stretch, maybe 15 since surgery. By half an hour, I was aware that I had hit a point where I needed to get off my feet. If I had simply said so, Mom would have understood completely. I blame myself entirely….I knew she was enjoying herself and I didn’t want to spoil it. So I would strain a little. An extra nap and I’d be fine later.
Except I wasn’t fine later. It’s now Monday and I’m still not fine. Whatever I strained after the 45 minutes or more on my feet is still strained. I’m doubling up the pain meds and taking them more often, but it still hurts and I’m limping again. Hello cane.
It does not help that I’m having intense upper arm/neck/shoulder pain as well. That’s probably due to knitting….I started a new project yesterday and my body apparently is not happy about it. But it means that I am uncomfortable sitting, standing, lying down. Whine whine whine.
This still beats a broken heart though.